Category Funny Stories - Page 2

Old people are funny

My husband's grandparents recently moved into a retirement residence, and we finally made the trek to check out their new digs last weekend.After saying our hellos and sharing an obligatory cup of tea, the conversation started to get a little stale.So Nana started chatting.And anyone who has had the...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-05 02:23:40

I got a tattoo

About a month ago, when I was halfway through a bottle of chardonnay, I had the not-so-brilliant idea that I should re-pierce my belly button.By myself.In our bathroom.With my old belly button ring and a tube of Polysporin.I'd had the thing for 12 years before I got pregnant, so I figured it wouldn'...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-04 23:23:40

I bought new underwear

Before my husband knocked me up, I didn't own ONE pair of granny panties.It's true.All I had was a drawer full of sexy, lacy bras, thongs, and various other pieces of lingerie.And forget about pajamas.I slept in the nude.But then those pregnancy hormones kicked in and my body started expanding in wa...Read More

Category : Funny stories Mobile posts Parenting

Dated : 2021-04-04 22:23:40

Worst. Pap Smear. Ever.

It's that time of year again, folks.The time when I put my legs in stirrups at my doctor's office and thank my lucky stars he's more experienced than the doctor I saw in my early 20s.Wait a minute.Did you miss that post last year?Yes?Then make yourself a cup of cocoa, sit back, and enjoy a laugh on ...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-04 19:23:40

The worst mom-and-me class ever

When my husband and I started trying for kids, I never envisioned myself saying goodbye to the corporate world so I could spend my days yelling, "Swiper, no swiping!" at my TV over and over (and over) again.I just didn't think I was cut out for the whole SAHM thing.But motherhood has changed me in w...Read More

Category : Family Funny stories Mobile posts Parenting

Tags : Motherhood

Dated : 2021-04-04 18:23:40

The easiest A+ I ever earned in college

My dad has always been my biggest supporter.In fact, he was the one to fly halfway around the world to help me move into my college dorm room, and as we were unpacking the car that morning, he told me he didn't care if I decided to drop out the following day. He said the mere fact that I'd gotten a ...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-04 17:23:40

I bet you’ve never loved anyone enough to do this

I stopped eating red meat when I was 19, but it wasn't because I felt bad for the animals or anything like that.Nope.I'm not that nice a person.I stopped eating red meat because my dad and I shared a sub with assorted cold cuts on it one Christmas Eve, and spent the rest of the day feeling like ass....Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-04 13:23:40

I almost pooped my pants during a business trip

When I was about 25, I flew to NYC once a month to oversee a big account I was working on.I initially found this to be pretty cool, but getting up at 4 am, never making it home before prime time (or happy hour, for that matter), and having a fear or flying made the novelty wear off pretty quickly.Bu...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-04 12:23:40

Why I never lie to my husband

When my husband and I went out on our first date 7+ years ago, my life changed forever.I don't know if it was his incredible blue-green-grey eyes, the way his bum looked in his Buffalo jeans, or the fact that I consumed 9 glasses of wine, but I did not want that night to end. I've dated my fair shar...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-04 07:23:40

Why you should throw your birth control in the garbage

Motherhood has been kicking me in the bum lately.During my daughter's 2.5-year check-up a couple of weeks ago, I told her pediatrician that she gave up milk shortly after her second birthday, and he made it very clear that I had completely failed her as a mother by allowing her to pull such shenanig...Read More

Category : Family Funny stories Laughs Mobile posts Parenting

Tags : Motherhood

Dated : 2021-04-04 05:23:40

The world’s worst wedding

When my husband and I got back from our magical honeymoon in Mexico, we found our inboxes stuff with congratulatory emails.Only they weren't for us.As it turns out, one of our "couple friends" got engaged while we were away.Having just gotten off of the crazy train that is planning a wedding, I reme...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-03 23:23:40

Worst. Business Trip. Ever.

I was recently reminded of a particularly interesting business trip I took a few years ago, and couldn't resist sharing the story with you…The Hubs and I had only been dating a short while, and we'd had a crazy weekend. I don't remember specifics, but it involved a lot of booze, 2 parties, and a s...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Tags : Fear of flying

Dated : 2021-04-03 22:23:40

Why you should never fly with my husband

For those of you who missed my post last week, where I shared 8 things I hate about air travel, my daughter and I flew across the country last Friday to visit with my parents for a week.Admittedly, I was really looking forward to the free babysitting and endless supply of blog fodder the trip would ...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Tags : Air travel Flying

Dated : 2021-04-03 18:23:40

How my high school ‘sweetheart’ got the name Douche Rocket

On Saturday morning, when my daughter and I padded downstairs in search of some breakfast, I heard someone banging outside.VERY LOUDLY.My initial thought was that someone was trying to break in, but then I remembered that burglars tend to be much quieter, so I scanned the shoes by the front door and...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-03 15:23:40

Why I’d rather travel with The Griswalds than my own family at Christmas

My family went on a lot of road trips when I was a kid, and it seemed like something always happened to make each trip memorable.The time I had to poop on the side of the highway while we were driving to Virginia Beach when I was 4.The time my mother drank too many martinis at the hotel bar and puke...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-03 07:23:40

How the terrible twos are improving my marriage

Do you know what I'm sick of?The Terrible Twos.Now, I came to the realization a long time ago that all of these temper tantrums we've been experiencing could be avoided if I let my daughter rot on the couch watching YouTube videos all day, but because I value things like safety and personal hygiene,...Read More

Category : Funny stories Laughs Mobile posts Parenting

Tags : Motherhood

Dated : 2021-04-03 05:23:40

Why your daughter should never live with boys in college

Did you drink in college?I did.A lot.Too much, actually.Of course, it wasn't something I intended to do when I applied, but when you move halfway around the world from your parents and into a co-ed apartment with a roommate who keeps the fridge in his room fully stocked with his dad's home-brewed be...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-03 02:23:40

The worst first kiss in the history of first kisses

I grew up in Asia, and the student body of my high school consisted of about 600 students.When you divide that into 4 grades and account for all of the different cliques, that's not a huge number.And my high school was VERY clique-y.There were obviously many different types of people, but for the mo...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-03 01:23:40

Why you should never eat or drink at an old person’s house

When I was in my early 20s, I got a call one night from my sister telling me that my grandfather had fallen and broken his hip.And he was never really the same after that.He had a hip replacement that night, spent a week sharing a room with a guy he couldn't stand, and, because my grandparents still...Read More

Category : Funny stories

Dated : 2021-04-02 23:23:40

My kid embarrassed me in front of my mother-in-law. Again.

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I've put some serious work into cleaning up my blog over the last couple of months.No more stories about my boss.No more lists about my mother.And no more swear words.It was hard work. Very hard work. But now that I'm the mother of an impressionable 2-year-old who...Read More

Category : Funny stories Mobile posts Parenting

Tags : Motherhood

Dated : 2021-04-02 22:23:40