For the last several months, my daughter and I have been experimenting with some mom-and-me classes.
We started with a very basic gymnastics class, and about halfway through the course, my daughter fell off one of the pieces of equipment and spent 4 days in a leg cast. So we dropped gymnastics and signed up for swimming lessons at our local pool instead. I figured it would be the perfect thing to do together as it was only an 8-minute walk from our condo. But I signed us up in January, and after juggling swimming suits, winter coats, and frozen hair for 3 weeks, I gave up.
Fortunately, one of my mom friends introduced me to a mom-and-me preschool class a few weeks later, which was filled with every activity imaginable. But she failed to warn me that there were 30+ kids per class, and that some of the moms (herself included) refused to let a little green snot keep them at home, so my daughter spent 5 consecutive weeks fighting one sickness after another. And I found myself making up excuses not to go.
But then cold and flu season ended and I decided we needed to be outside as much as possible, so I signed us up for an outdoor sports program. In the middle of a heat wave. When that failed, I decided to give it one last shot and signed us up for music classes. Everyone had been raving about how much their kids liked music and, if I'm going to be completely honest with you, I wanted to prove to them that there was NO WAY my child was going to make me sing and dance and look like a fool in front of other people.
But the joke was on me because she LOVED it, and after so many fails with the mom-and-me classes, I was delighted I'd found something she was passionate about.
So when fall registration for classes started, I signed us up for not one, but 3 classes together.
And now here I am, one month into the semester, wondering what the heck I was drinking when I decided 3 classes would be okay.
Because mom-and-me classes suck.
1. You have to shower, brush your hair, and put on clean clothes, and if you're smart enough to enroll in classes at 9 am like I was, you have to do all of this before your morning coffee has a chance to take its hold.
2. Coming up with interesting things to talk about is surprisingly difficult when the highlight of your week is that your child slept past 6 am for 5 consecutive days.
3. You have to pretend to like other people's kids. Even the snotty ones.
4. You have less time to do important things, like catch up on your Facebook feed and check your blog stats.
5. No matter how foul your PMS-induced mood is, you have to participate. And you have to look happy about it.
6. On the days when every other kid is engaged and following directions, your child will decide she's having an "off day" and spend the entire class doing the exact opposite of what she's supposed to be doing.
7. There will always be THAT MOM who makes you feel like an inadequate mother.
8. Any attempt to make it to class on time is futile with a 2-year-old in tow.
9. You constantly have to plan ahead – snacks, diapers, change of clothes, closest liquor store on your drive home…
10. If you like to go out of your way to ensure your child has fun, like I do, you will embarrass the crap out of yourself with all of the shameless singing and dancing you do in front of a group of strangers.
What's your least favorite part about mom-and-me classes?