Have you ever shown up at work half naked?
I was in between my third and fourth year of college and, against my better judgement, I decided to move in with Douche Rocket for the summer.
Naturally, I'd left the whole search-for-a-summer-job thing until the very last minute, so the only employment I was able to secure was as a waitress at a local diner off a major highway.
I remember showing up 20 minutes early on my first day so I could get my lay of the land before things got busy, and the moment I stepped into that joint, I wanted nothing more than to get back in my car and drive away.
The people were just so…
There were the drunks who showed up as soon as the doors opened at 6 am so they could drink coffee and oogle at the waitstaff until the bar next door opened at 11 am.
There was the jerk of a manager who took great pride in yelling at all of his female employees until they cried.
There were the tour buses filled with questionable human beings that only ever showed up when the restaurant was already packed.
And there was the cook who had an ankle fetish.
He was my favorite.
His name was Dave and he was physically unable to let me place a food order or pick-up a plate of toast without getting on all fours to bite one (or both) of my ankles.
I wish I was exaggerating for effect here, but I'm not.
He did it every single time I went into that kitchen.
Every. Single. Time.
The funny thing is, I never got back into my car on that fateful first morning on the job, and I'm glad I didn't, because it turned out to be a really fun summer.
The drunks at the front eventually stopped treating me like a stripper.
The jerk of a manager only made me cry twice.
The tour buses filled with degenerates tipped me really well.
And Ankle Fetish Dave ended up being pretty harmless.
And he never looked up my skirt when he was down on all fours, so I have to give credit where credit's due, you know?
When the summer finally came to a close and I had to hang up my apron before heading back to school, I actually felt a little sad. I was going to miss those crazy perverts that had taken me under their wings and become my friends that summer.
So before I merged onto the highway in my beat-up Pontiac Sunfire to do the 3+ hour drive back to school, I did a u-turn and drove back to the diner for one more bad cup of coffee, a little heckling from the drunks, and a little nibble on the ankles from Dave.
And that's when it happened.
When I got out of my car and started walking towards the restaurant, I saw my friend (and fellow waitress) Sharon cover her mouth with her hand before everyone (Ankle Fetish Dave included) ran to the front of the restaurant to watch me approach the restaurant through the windows.
You can imagine how warm and fuzzy this made me feel inside.
I'd only been gone 2 days, and these people already missed me!!!
And you can also imagine how mortified I felt when, after letting the drunks hug me a little tighter than normal and Ankle Fetish Dave nibble on me a little longer than I was comfortable with, Sharon pulled me aside and told me my sundress was completely see-through, and I looked like I was half naked.
Dated : 2021-04-05 04:23:40
Category : Funny stories