When Children’s Books Are Hilariously Inappropriate

About a week after my daughter was born, I received a package from my mum's best friend, who lives in Australia. Linda has always been generous with my sister and me over the years, so I knew that package was going to be filled with nothing but awesomeness.

And I was right.

When I ripped open the brown box, I found A STACK of children's books inside. And they weren't just any old books, either. They were Australian books, complete with illustrations of kookaburras, dingos, kangaroos, and wallabies, and sporting awesome titles like One Woolly Wombat, Blossom Possum, and Wombat Stew.

Of course, my colicky infant was much too young to enjoy the books at the time, and I was far too tired to read them myself, so I packed them away and vowed I'd get them out when my daughter was old enough to sit through something more complicated than Sandra Boynton's Barnyard Dance.

Two years went by, and I completely forgot about those books. But then one day, when I had read Good Night, Dora 3,598,945 times in a row and was ready to put a fork in my eye, I remembered them.

Excited that we finally had a way to break the monotony of story hour, I dragged my 2-year-old down to our storage locker, located the package, and brought them upstairs.

Me: Which one should we read first?

2-Year-Old: Might Might, Dora!

Me: No, let's read one of the new ones from Auntie Linda!

2-Year-Old: Might Might, Dora!

Me: Come on, choose another one.

2-Year-Old: Might Might, Dora!

Determined to kick Dora to the curb, I pulled my daughter up on to her bean bag with me, grabbed Sebastian Lives in a Hat, and started reading over her protests ("Might Might, Dora!", "Might Might, Dora!").

The book started out pretty well. Sebastian is a pink, fuzzy wombat who lives in a brown hat, and from what I could see in the illustrations, he was pretty cute.

But then this happened:

And 6 pages later, this happened:

And I suddenly found myself reading Night Night, Dora again.

Have you ever read any hilariously inappropriate children's books?

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Dated : 2021-04-05 13:23:40

Category : Family Funny stories Mobile posts Parenting

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